hello! i know i’m usually rather quiet, but I was tagged by @thranduil, so i’m doing this. thanks for the tag.
 
1. Where would you go to if you could fly anywhere on Earth?
Ireland or Scotland. I would like to travel to both.
 
2. How many books do you own?
Not counting ebooks, probably around 150. Counting ebooks I have no idea.
 
3. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood?
Alfonso Cuarón’s A Little Princess.
 
4. who’s your favorite teacher?
My 9th grade english teacher, the only english teacher I feel really taught me anything.
 
5. What’s your favorite kind of clothing?
sundresses and doc martens.
 
6. Bad habit?
holding grudges. bottling up my feelings. not eating.
 
7. What was the last fictional thing you cried over (Book, movie, or show)
a book someone sent me.
 
8. What was the last vacation you took?
disney like four or five years ago. i need one desperately.
 
9. What’s on your walls?
My walls are bright pink. On the right there’s some paintings me and Jordan did in high school of some strawberries, hearts, and a cursive ‘smile’. I also have a dreamcatcher and some lanterns hanging from it. On the left side I have a surfboard hanging up and some drawings I did. I also have a couple paintings hanging.
 
10. Where are you right now?
bed.
 
11. What kind of tattoo do you think you would have if you got one?
a flower- but i don’t think i’ll get a tattoo.
 
12. What did you do last night?
had class, watched skins, smoked
 
13. What’s your favourite album ever & why?
TAYF purely due to nostalgia.
 
14. If you could see any band in the whole world live, who would it be?
MGMT UGH
 
15. Explain your icon.
ugg mug.
 
16. What 3 things always make you feel better?
coffee. writing. running.
 
17. What’s your idea of a perfect night?
nothing can be perfect! but uhm, likely some moscato and a big open starry sky.
 
18. What are you looking forward to right now?
nothing, unfortunately.
 
19. What’s your favorite smell?
caramelized sugar.
 
20. What are you reading right now?
The Road by Jack London
 
21. What’s one thing on your bucket list?
hm i would like to own a cafe i think
 
tagging: @infirmitas because i know she won't mind.

Boy the sun can be nasty when it turns its back on me, shining right on my hunger and then hiding when I'm free.
Every path that I take leads me right back to myself every dream that I have tells me that I'm someone else and all of those dreams you know they'll come true and deep down in my heart I still think you're mine to lose.
Get ready to find (fight?) the reason we were born, I'm packing up my bags cause it's time to go home.
I was born in denial right next to John and James, I feel suicidal, I know it all had to change.
I packed up my staff and I walked forty days I didn't stop until summer fades.
 
-------
 
I AM GOING TO START WRITING AGAIN THIS WEEKEND NO.MATTER.WHAT.

It's a shame I don't think that they'll notice.
(It's a shame, I don't think that they'll notice)
It's a shame I doubt they even care.
(It's a shame)
Don't let me down.

so sick so sick of being tired
so oh so tired of being sick
we're both such magnificent liars
so crush me baby, i'm all ears

Tagged by @infirmitas

My favorite quote:
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. "
 
Best friend on Polyvore that you don’t know in real life:
more like best friend. period.
 
Can you remember your last dream?
I usually remember my dreams!
 
3 places you’d like to go on vacation?
Alaska, Scotland, Thailand

Do you like chocolate?
Dark chocolate, not milk.
 
Which is your favorite body part of the human face and why?
Lips, soft and sensual.

Do you like rainy days or snowy winter days more?
Rainy days. I have a very low tolerance for the cold.

Which is your favorite four legged creature?
Cats

Do you like spicy food?
Uh huh

Do you remember your favourite teacher?
Mr. Miller, my 9th grade english teacher.

Tell me about your favorite book, magazine, or comic.
I can't choose one book, I like too many. Favorite comic is batman.

Tell me about the last movie you watched.
Les Miserables

Tell me about your favourite music/band.
MGMT

3 favourite foods?
Oranges, Salmon, Rice

Do you like to shop?
Love it

Are you usually late, early, or right on time?
Horribly late, or entirely too early.

Are you happy with your life for the most part right now?
I don't know if I've ever been.

What would be harder, telling someone that you love them or that you don’t?
Depends
 
What’s your middle name?
Rachel

How big is your bed?
Not big at all

What music are you listening to right now?
Nothing

Who was the last person you hugged?
A friend from work named Crista.

How is the weather right now?
Raining.

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?
In some aspects, but not too different.

Favorite fruit?
Oranges

Do you have a collection of anything?
Art supples
 
Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?
story of my life.

Would you ever tell a person you have a crush on that you like him/her?
probably not.

Do you consider yourself popular?
i'm an adult l o l what is popular

Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?
a long long time ago

Would you ever date someone older than you?
Younger than you?
yes and yes

Have you ever been on a diet?
you could say that

Have you ever gotten detention?
i'm not in HS, but yes

Do you usually prefer books or movies?
movies, but i like both quite a lot

Have you ever written a love letter?
no

Are you a morning person or a night person?
night

Do you make wishes on shooting stars?
i have

Celebrity role models?
i actually really like angelina jolie.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
that sounds absolutely horrible.

How many piercing do you have?
2
.
What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?
4 years

What is the meanest thing anyone has ever said about you?
uh... i don't know. people have said some mean things but its never really bothered me.

What is the best compliment you have ever received?
compliments weird me out

What does your username mean?
it was a nickname from someone
 
Have you ever made a prank phone call?
yes
 
Do you smoke?
marijuana
 
Have you ever been drunk?
often

Have you ever cried during a movie?
yep

Do you take the shampoo/conditioner bottles from hotel?
no

Do you always smile for pictures?
always
 
I would like to tag:
no one.

Poison oak, some boyhood bravery
When a telephone was a tin can on a string
And I fell asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die
-
 
“So this was the wax seal of the Order of IV. He had never seen it until today. Aloys fingered the seal’s impression and then turned to Faust. His voice trilled over the viola, like a shrilly bird, “Faust! Shouldn’t we…shouldn’t we call up the others?” His eyes wide, he pocketed the letter and then quickly changed his clothes. Of course they were going to call up the other two, there was no question in that. A letter signified that a meeting of all four brigades was in need—always. Tremulous, Aloys had to pause and still his fingers before tying the delicate stem of his chrysanthemum through the top button hole of his shirt. Outside, they had to congregate outside...where his senses would feel alive, where he would truly feel the reality of this letter. Slipping on his coat, Aloys turned to Faust and then stopped short. He too was dressed, his rose already tucked away into the breast pocket of his own coat. The smaller of the pair, Aloys, nodded at Fuast and then sent out a text to the other two boys, asking them to meet them outside the entrance of the school.” @infirmitas

i'm going to slowly go through all of my saved documents and publish everything for you, ok?
 
--
Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
And does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more
That you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally.
--
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.
I spent hours just laying flat-backed on my bed with old T Bone Walker vibrating through depressingly morose air.
The world can't stop just because you get a booboo.
But for me, it did.
 
“Just keep going, Llewellyn.”
(People out there love you.)
(I love you.)
 
He would wrap his arms around me and I would cry and tell him about wanting to give up. He’d build castles of quilts and call me his Highlander Prince- singing silly songs on his acoustic that drove my roommate mad. We would have been perfect if not for the space in my heart already being occupied.
 
I think he always knew this, so I can’t feel too bad.
 
People would talk about me when I did eventually show up to class. About how fast I had moved on, how wrong it was. Under the scrutiny of the entire student body, I had lost a lot of the repertoire that had been meticulously built up over the years. I didn’t try to explain- with every heavy foot fall I could feel myself falling into a deeper pitfall of darkness. As much as my fingernails clawed at the gritty dirt, to not slip so far into this abysmal darkness… When I woke every morning, hung over or depressed or still high from the night before, my limbs stuck to the mattress thick with the molasses of melancholy madness.
 
It was so selfish for me to keep him around.
 
I was never that kind of person, whose cruel intentions struck mortal man to the marrow. What I did to Damarion was inexcusable.
 
The worst part about it was that it was entirely on purpose.